I tend to have a nomadic lifestyle. I dont really plan on staying in one place for too long, nor do I enjoy it. However, these days I am coming to terms that it makes people relations harder and harder.
I have a hard time getting close with people now because I know that I will be leaving them soon or they will be leaving me. Aside from that, it is harder for people to get close to me knowing that I will be leaving them. Esp. in relationship terms. Minus one person. One person doesnt mind that I will be leaving and coming back to him, but this is the person I push away the most. Why is that? Am I that afraid of his affection and being hurt again?
This offer is crazy right? Listen. He has taken me back after so many times because he cares about me and when we are together, were great. We laugh. We go running. Play soccer. Play squash. Love seeking new cafe’s and bakeries. Love food testings. Music. Laying around taking naps. Indie films and music. Hmm . Sounds perfect. ? Right? Indeed. We both love traveling and listening to our adventures. He has been way more places than I though. Pakistan, all over Europe, virtually everywhere I have been in the US, and SE Asia. We have similar place overlaps but hes been everywhere- Diplomats child.
I was planning on going to Germany over the summer however the plan is not for sure still. While he invited me to come to Malaysia and Singapore with him to backpack, scuba, etc,etc, . Then he offered to study with me while I was abroad. Its not even freaky because I know that he does not just want to follow me but he wants to adventure with me. He is always telling me that we should travel together and etc.etc. However, before my loyality fell somewhere else and now I think it should not have strayed there.
How do you get someone back when you have pushed them away so much? What do you do to make things right again when your own personal fear pushed them away and your own stupidity. He cant always be waiting for me its not fair..
The nomadic nature comes in because the reason I love traveling is because I like the insecurity of it. Security is the scariest thing for me because it seems as though right when you gain security someone comes and takes it away and it freaks me out …
What to do what to do.
